The 1st day of the rest of my life (sport challenge)

I inaugurate a new category with this article: "Personal".

This category is not directly related to RepatBissau and YOUR repatriation, but as its name suggests, it is a way of delivering myself in a more personal way. And I hope it will inspire some. Good reading !

If you ask me to introduce myself, I will answer you: Daiana Taborda Gomes, 31 years old, repatriated to Guinea since 2018, Bissau-Guinean parents, mother of a small fish and creator of the blog and the RepatBissau diaspora consulting company . If really, I feel comfortable, I will add "And, I want to become the first woman elected President of Guinea-Bissau" Bim!

I know I'm smart and passionate, I work hard on what I'm passionate about and deep down I can already see myself changing the face of this country for real... So what's the problem?

The problem is that I have neither discipline nor organization. I want to achieve great things, but my own house is a mess, I forget commitments, I avoid conflicts and it can go so far as not to call someone and waste my time (because in 90% of the cases, what I feared does not happen.). I can work on a 6-month marketing campaign for 24 hours straight and then only post the first few days because something disrupts my day and gives up. 17 pending blog post drafts that I never finished. Because yes, I also have this falsely perfectionist side impostor syndrome where I need to do things well or not do them and I end up doing them halfway... Which frustrates me and the loop of self-esteem in the siphon is closed!

This voice in my head that constantly tells me "you won't make it" against the one that says "you are one of the leaders of this country, go for it!" I'm not the only one who has it, am I? . And it becomes a self-powered prophecy, a roller coaster of high motivation and self-sabotage and the "evil" voice that goes on "see, I told you so".

Oh, and I must specify that today June 7, 2023, I am 86 kilos for 1m63 (189lb for 5ft4in)... I do not feel good in my body.

From my many readings since adolescence, I have been aware of these problems for a long time, but impossible to pass the barrier of a few days or weeks. Many tries, no consistency. Sometimes it's economic, but most of the time it's mental, procrastination, laziness. Except that all the stains that I haven't made stay in the back of my head, they don't disappear. Hence the feeling of being overwhelmed without having done anything.

I had known for a long time that I would need a coach like the American TV shows that melt the obese by pushing them to their limits without concessions. I need this, I know it. Is it pleasant? No ! Is it necessary? Absolutely !

But who can afford a personal trainer who will get you out of bed, follow you around all day and push you to do what you have to do? Beyoncé maybe, but not me.

Then comes into my life, SiphiweBaleka! This man is integrity incarnate, he has the discipline that his life as an athlete has instilled in him (40 years of high level swimming!), he has an incredible capacity to retain information which allows him to be a fine strategist. , which is why the biggest names in Pan-Africanism in the English-speaking world know him today.

And Daaaamn he is sexy!

In short, the coach I had always wanted is there for free except that he is more than a coach, he is a mentor, my partner in RepatBissau, the coach of my son fish and my companion. And you know how hard it is for us to show our true selves to someone we love.

Siphiwe has a weight loss program he called "4 min fit" which was very successful in the United States because it was intended for the population in less good physical health: heavy truck drivers! A simple exercise and diet challenge 4 mins of intense non-stop movement to activate the fat burning system then eat protein every 3 hours to keep the system activated. Obviously a second session in the evening is even better, but let's stick to 4 min in the morning.

Believe it or not, the program can be done by anyone who is not quadriplegic except... Me! For some reason for several years, I can't move my body without my stomach telling me to go to hell, nausea and vomiting as soon as I move. I couldn't make this 4 min effort without being extremely nauseous. Sip didn't insist and left me alone...

July - October 2022, I'm going to recharge my batteries in France and there, an orgy of cheese, wine, fast food, Japanese, Chinese... In short, all the food that I missed, telling myself "well, I would lose all of it in GB, there won't be all that there... The little devil in my head convinced me! I gained 15lb and I continued to gain weight when I returned to GB...

Last week, I tried a gentle yoga program that allowed me to get back in the saddle gently... Even that, I lasted 5 days then, as soon as the day of rest arrived, I found myself excuses for not getting back to it. And the conscience is there to knock on my system: "You are not capable". I wanted to do this yoga program to avoid my honey's gaze the day I fail. I think he felt the umpteenth dismay of my umpteenth failure, but never said anything, this gentleman.

Sunday evening, Sip asks me to consider going back to the "4min fit" by completely accepting my nausea, no longer fighting against it but letting myself vomit and see how my body reacts afterwards.

Again, I avoided re-entering the program multiple times, as I didn't want him to see my true self, the one who fails, the one who gives up. But above all, I didn't want him to abandon me. Not in terms of a personal relationship, but as a coach and mentor.

I need him to believe in me more than I believe in myself!

And as such marvelous man that he is, he made me understand that he was there for me and that he would accompany me with pleasure as soon as I make the request.

Well, I didn't make any request that day... And I didn't do a session on Monday or Tuesday.

This Wednesday morning, no school and sleep in! I hear him doing his session, which he films like every day, because he has a group on Backroom that allows him to share this content with his clients. I'm lying in bed and I hear him mention the name of one of his sons and of the little one's mother, like a dedication.

There, my conscience wakes me up "You said you would do it this week and nothing... Today you slept in so no excuses get up and do it!".

Tell yourself that between the time I get out of bed and the time to do the exercise, I had to turn between the living room and the kitchen at least 10 times and I knew I had a choice to give up . The nausea that I hadn't had this intense for a very long time came back. I hadn't even done an exercise my stomach had already turned. I understood that part of my problem was psychosomatic and that the proposal to force vomiting which I will call "the K'siff theory" was perhaps a solution.

So I ended up asking for this famous help from Sip by revealing to him the "promise" I was making to myself and the nausea symptoms. Calino-therapy doesn't work, I need a harder method and it's up to me not to shut myself up when he pushes me to my limits.

He himself was afraid that the real "coach mode" would affect our relationship.

Too bad, I take the risk! I need to get out of this body, I need to get through this glass ceiling if I want to reach the next stage of my life. I know it ! I just need his crutch.

All this to show you here the first day of the rest of my life, the day I decided that the demon that I have in my stomach (because now I feel "possessed" by a capricious force that spoils me life and no longer the victim of a disease for which no one has a solution) will no longer prevent me from doing my 4 minutes of exercise which separates me from my true self, the one with a balanced, radiant body, which can resume other activities and improve what she needs to improve.

Writing all of this is kind of an outlet and publishing it is a way to engage in this change. I hope this time will be the right one!

This first day is dadicated to my big brother K'siff!